Cindrealla of the Pacific - Ensenanda

Carnival ImaGINATION from LA , the  cruise boat that I was destined to cruise the pacific coast

The carnival Imagination, not that there is much imagination that I see here, just a box that floats on water and yup it does vibrate a bit even for this size, quiet a  sea bird this is, not too impressed but then we humans are rarely

At approx 1730 hours we were off towards Mexico, the road takes 3 hours we would be taking 16 hours, we were in for a treat , the view the slow pace of life, the relaxed life of being on the sea

Yup thats me, and my camera, n behind me is the bunk bed for the next 3 days, takes some getting used to , but then one can't be too choosy and saving space is good on a ship, I say

This is the main Lobby , if you have been to Las Vegas you know the feel, you will lose the feel of time once  you are inside,  and that is quiet groovy at the bottom area what you see is the bar( one of the bar ) if I may add.

The Pool side with little animals for company yup u guessed it right , there were kids and lovelies who sure adored the cute folds os the towels , can you spot a few animals, recognize them

The ideal way to be while on the cruise , just sleep in the sun, n let your body absorb Vitamin D,  nothing feels better then the sun, while on the deck with a breeze for company this is a great way to be for lets say once a month

See I was not the only one who thought so the whole world of people with lack of Melatonin in there skin thought so too

A thoughtful moment, trying to decide was that too much I ate already, should I go for a swim and relax after, or ,,,

The second day we reached Ensenada in Mexico, 125 km south of San Diego, it is also called Cinderella of the pacific and how appropriate and as I enjoyed the sun, I watched PRINCESS after me trying to dock, Wonder when I started to believe in love at first site?

 I watched the princess do a turn and dock, Wow!

 was in the dream world for a while as I watched the process quiet fascinating what is possible.

That’s the flag of Mexico, and nothing looks better then a large flag that flutters in the wind.

The Morning s were always nice with some stretched and jogging, should one not be hung over 

Can you guess what this is , yes it is on a water park still what do you think it is ?

Water park on a ship. how funny is that , or is it obvious?

I stood on the coast and watched a artist at work, wondering to myself 

Is it her that he is trying to sketch ?

The sea doing it s own thing just being the sea every time bringing on the water and smashing relentlessly against the rocks, the love of the water and the land, the sea and the coast, it is a mesmerizing site that I could see all day long 

The cabin that I was mostly parked in come nightfall

 Not to be disappointed as I watched the sun set into the sea to be swallowed in a jiffy, a sunset is just so mesmerizing and some more

I woke up the last day at 0500 hours and what do you knew we were making our way to LA, and the light from the docks were lighting up the sky, it was a different site, and still pretty, maybe I find everything pretty, Am I in Love? ;)   Note to self be on the watch out a slippery slope right ahead

And then the sun came out in its glory and showed what it was all about, the glamour of the sun you just cant beat on any front, it will burn through all eventually and show things as they are, clear as a day as they say

As I left all thats left on water is what belongs to nature, THE SUN, THE SEA n THE BIRDS

how different is very different

There is always a fine line and they are vastly opposite.

Similarly if you want to save the environment please stop using Ac car / buses, AC in the house, not the " stop firecracker tag line "please

just saying  - If you are worried about animals let them live in the wild, n not in your zoos and houses 

but that being said some of the lovely ladies who performed for women empowerment a few days back, 

Not all Friendships are nourishing

Do all relationships have a time period, and then it lapse, I have found the 7year cycle to be very real in my life personally , so many things lasting in multiples of Seven,

The two sides of the canyon is what friendship is all about you could be this different but still be aware not to get abused in a friendship, here is a brilliant and detailed article written by - Little General,  buddy of mine

Chasm

NOT ALL FRIENDSHIPS ARE NOURISHING
__________________________________________

"Never take a person's dignity, it is worth everything to them and probably nothing to you"

We as humans are very ill equipped to recognise, Identify and respond to abusive friendships.
There exists no definite way to begin, maintain or end an abusive friendship. There is so much focus that rests on romantic relationships which turn abusive or violent but little or none towards platonic friendships, unfortunately.
This gross misuse of power against friends does occur more often than imagined and in similar ways as in other relationships.
In my experience some of the most appalling, scary and vicious abuse cases I have come across have happened between friends.
Quite often than not, the survivor does not realise, for very late in the friendship that what is happening to her/him is actually abuse, as he or she has never thought of friendships being toxic and hurting.

When you begin to sense that someone you thought of as a friend, no longer and never really had your best interests in mind, it is pertinent that you pull the plug without any guilt as it is not an act of selfishness but will stem from self love which is much needed at that time.

We have all grown up with this belief that all friendships are healthy and fun, but that always is not the case. This abuse between friends can be very devastating, emotionally draining and extremely damaging both physically, physiologically and mentally.

Abuse between friends is mostly insidious and Machiavellian, leaving the person broken and shaky for a long time. Most often, it is assumed that if there is no physical violence involved then it does not qualify as abuse, but nothing can be more misleading than this assumption.

The negative effects of abusive friendships are many and major.

SIGNS TO NOTICE FOR AN ABUSIVE FRIEND :-
------------------------------------------------------

# They want to own you and start treating you like their property, become abnormally possessive and controlling.

# Spending time with them becomes emotionally and physically exhausting. Such friends are impossible to please, they are very judgemental, critical of your every move, your choices, thoughts and habits. A common trait they regularly manifest is that they will castigate you for almost everything. They love to snoop around your things and do not respect your privacy and need for boundaries.
It is like walking on eggshells when around them as they will call you names, hurl accusations at you and will threaten and give orders.

# They will not value you as a person and deny you any personal space as I have mentioned earlier also. They invariably behave obnoxious, arrogant and entitled most of the time.
They are very caustic with their remarks and statements and cleverly mock and ridicule you all the way and manage to diminish and beat a person's self esteem to such an extent that the impacts of this are seen in the long term too.

#One begins to feel hostage and under this friend's control. The feeling of defeat is profound and the victim feels less empowered to break free and surface from the abuse.

# They continuously gas light you into believing that you are a Bad friend if you do not give into their demands. There is an uneven dynamic in the relationship which is absolutely toxic.

# They are passive aggressive.
# Their approach to abuse is very subtle
..blaming you for everything that goes wrong.
..belittling your accomplishments and achievements.
..glorifying themselves while making you look stupid and incompetent.
..they make exploitative and outrightly abusive statements.
.. They talk behind your back and also about you to others in your presence, invariably in the garb of humour.
..Constantly emphasize about your so called incapabilities, will keep reminding how privileged your life has been and how their's has been a struggle. How they have it had very rough and you have been presented with things on a platter so you have no right to complain etc...
# Your achievements and possessions make them bitter and angry which makes them lash at you in some form or the other.
# You continuously feel choked and suffocated and live under constant fear.
# If you show your displeasure or voice your concerns they run you further down by complaining about your lack of humour and your being too sensitive and touchy.
# You are forced to shoulder their responsibility and everything in this friendship is non negotiable.
# They ostracise you at their will and come back the next minute claiming to be family.
# You are left exhausted, scared, tired and anxious.
# They hurl clever abuses at the way you have been parented.
# You live on the edge and worry constantly.

PSYCHOLOGICAL DAMAGES
________________________________

- Depression
- Sleep Disorders
- Indigestion ( psychosomatic )
- Eating Disorders
- Fear of Abandonment
- Poor self Esteem
- Trust Deficit
- Inability to take Compliments
-A state of Emotional Vaccum.

WHAT CAN ONE DO
----------------------------

Yes!! It is difficult to end relationships but it is much needed before it causes further damage.

Seek emotional help at the earliest and a safe place to embark on that journey is through family.

Taking help of a counsellor, a mental health professional will immediately help shift focus and assist in breaking this vicious cycle of abuse. Regular sessions over the next few months do a lot of repairing and healing.

End this friendship immediately, walk away, cut off all contacts, no need for any dialogue or conversation as you do not owe any to anyone. Least of all to this so called friend.
Here it is important to understand that you are doing this out of self love and respect for your own self so without any hesitancy pull the plug.

"Don't ever let your life be blighted by any abuse at all"

Dr. ( Hon ) Deepti Kathpalia

Psychologist, Therapist , Counsellor.