Blood relatives

Why is it that sometimes people who are closest to one, are the ones who hurt them the most?

 The Mahabharata is full of such characters 

Is it the need to hurt someone, or is it just Ego, that makes one be nasty to there own family members? Mothers being nasty to there daughters while they are in hospitals.

One see’s it happening over and over, are we humans really so full or our self that one cant see the 10000’s and 1000’s of good quality in others, but just focus on the bad ones?

What’s the point of education and finishing school and all talk of culture and all, if one cant be nice to there own folks.

Often it is strangers who are there for others and makes one wonder what this whole talk of Blood relatives are all about ?

to add to this noise here is some more ;) a week later :

Tanya Bible sez gud peepl r face dese chellnge alwys. So dere will b alwys strangrs all lovee dem soo mch da.

Maria Siddiqui Thank God I am far far away

Disha

 Sometimes, there are no explanations..

Surekha Tenneti Venugopal It is indeed true that loved ones often are hurt by the ones closest to them- one of the reasons is perhaps that loved ones always expect the very best from their closest ones, and any glitch gets them to be nasty BECAUSE of the familiarity and closeness... whatever reason, it is a sad phenomenon of life and love..

Surekha Tenneti Venugopal But do kindly write a line about your startling photograph above, Rajat..

Rajat Ghosh Disha there always is, one has to make an effort to face the situation not just let it pass or pretend it did not happen. MARIA- yes sometimes I feel u are better off that u are far away , not that u are completly insulated there either,

Rajat Ghosh Surekha teacher- its a bed post , To me it looks like a bow, a violent motif to have on the bed, wonder if one sees this the 1st thing in the morning one's thoughts too are violent to wards all including there near and dear ones, without effort it might be getting imbibed in people who are around violent motifs

Maria Siddiqui Expectations are a cause of pain in a lot of relationships, but then, are there any relationships without expectations? Something to ponder about

Disha Bisht Long comment alert:)
Its not about pretending not to face reality/the situation, Rajat. I just feel we are able to understand (and try change) the why we behave the way we do. What the other person is thinking or how he/she is acting/reacting is a manifestation of what they are thinking about the situation. We cannot change it can we? Neither can we pass a wild guess on the reason for their behavior. Hence the comment, sometimes, there are no explanations one can think of for justifying or even beginning to understand the reason for hurt caused by our closest ones.

Disha Bisht Tanya Gomes. That was refreshing

Rajat Ghosh Are they really thinking Disha, it seems more like there is a huge gap in between what one says preaches and practices, and it continues as people keep quiet or do not call them out on it

Rajat Ghosh maria - staying in balance and not expecting content in the knowledge if they could they would.

Disha Bisht Like I said, we would not ever know for sure would we:)? We can be only sure about ourselves. Most of the time anyway:)

Tanya Gomes Yuss i m hv 2 b agree wid Dissha. Sumtyms we r also preach d big thngs den hurtng close ones by doin d same thngs only:-(

Rajat Ghosh Tanya/ Disha Bisht while not disagreeing with you I add - if we are aware of our actions / words are hurting others , we will stop doing that, right ? Similarly if we are hurt and do not speak out , how will our family members learn what they are doing and making us feel ? some point they need to be aware, and live with awareness.

Tanya Gomes Dat izz ryte also, bt sumtyme bttr 2 say, sumtyme bttr 2 b kp quite only wid elders, de r b thnk diffrntly sumtyme, cnt change dat da evn whn sayd

Rajat Ghosh true, TANYA except the older people also might need some help to change , not to force anything but dialogue helps heal sometimes, no perfect way to do things , but there are more then one way to do things

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Maria Siddiqui Agree that elders/ older people may need help... But to change, can't be sure... Most times they are so set in their ways and thoughts that they wouldn't even attempt a change.... Or feel they need to

Surekha Tenneti Venugopal Isn't it easier/better for one to try and change oneself rather than try changing somebody else ? In fact it may be the one successful route to find some peace in a world of turbulent relationships...

Maria Siddiqui The only person we have the power to change is ourself others we can only influence.

Tanya Gomes yuss. Exctly wht Disha ws sayd ryte in the start.

Tanya Gomes V cn only b sure of wht v r bng sayng or doing..

Rajat Ghosh The start of the dialogue is what I am talking about , instead of keeping quiet and silently killing oneself, yes we can change ourself only, additionally what we need from others we need to put it out in the open so they know, its COMMUNICATION. ALL too often we sweep it all under the carpet in the hope it will rectify itself.

Tanya Gomes In mah case whn dere ws big trble in lyfe it uzd 2 alwys startd wid dialog den bcme fyght only smile smile:-):-)

Tanya Gomes Wid Mommy nd olders i m sayng.

Rajat Ghosh Tanya , sometimes there are patterns that need to be changed , no matter who if we are fighting with them, then other then changing ourself, a dialogue with the other to help u help yourself like your mommy

Tanya Gomes Lol Rajjat whn yu b meet Mommy yu wll b knw if she chngd or nt chnged smile smile:):) I thnk I only nw accpt her more, I thnk fr who she izz nd fr d choices nd all she md fer me also, tho i m stll sumtymes hv difficult 2 b undrstanding her beliefs, y she did wht, nd her actions nd all.
Hv lvly de smile smile:):)

Rajat Ghosh well so long as she knows how u feel it is ok and a start well yes meeting your mom n goa with prawns and lobsters yummmmy

Tanya Gomes And pork fry fer Anu:):)
M glad only Mommy izz nt being on FB :D:D

Rajat Ghosh or so u think , maybe your mom is on FB

Tanya Gomes Lol nooo she nt intrstd, she izz spndng tyme in kitchn nd handicrafts nd church fetes etcc . Dats gud fer us only, whn yu both come, lottt of gud food nd muzzic :):)

Ana DelMar Belacqua because you allow yourself to be vulnerable with those closest, are not on your guard with them , and they know where to hit you where it hurts!! That is why I keep EVERYONE at arms length.

Rajat Ghosh Ana you need to love again( though I hear you and practice what u are suggesting )

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Surekha Tenneti Venugopal Ms Ana, You said it..this phenomenon of 'hitting' where it hurts the most of loved ones has been happening since the days of The Ramayana....a sad and skewed phenomenon not easy to explain...

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Ana DelMar  went through many years of passionate full on loving, and lesson learned!! All it brought was heartache:) and strength and a certain ruthlessness that i cherish!! sending both Surekha and Rajat lots of love !!:)

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Aarti Very stark and speaking ..this picture!

Surekha Tenneti  Rajat's picture-essays have become like subtle counselling areas- many of us are able to speak out things tucked away in our hearts for long..and feel better..And stronger..! Way to go, Mr Photographer sir !

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Tanya Surekha Mam yu r so absolutly ryte, nt tlk abt dese thngs normlly.

Rajat

, I m b missing your Anu's commnets also, hw izz her pain being nw?

Rajat  Tanya you should be asking her girl she is getting better slowly;) Surekha Tenneti Venugopal teacher it is indeed a wonderfull that all of you contribute so openly and lend yourself to the process . am glad if my images can make the start . THANK U ALL

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Swati  I know in the real world we end up being hurt by some close relations...honestly those close relations never change..so maybe this will help...It becomes difficult to trust a person who has betrayed. Fear is, "what if I get hurt again"? Develop a strength with power of knowledge, not to create that wound again. My ego has created the wound due to the image of how the other person should be. Take responsibility of healing that wound. Hurt is my own creation. Trust is my own choice.

Kasturi Rangachari When people close to us hurt us we feel rejected and devalued-----and that makes us question our very existence....

Tanya Gomes Yuss!! Exctly dat hs happnd 2 me at dat tyme all Philosophy nd all I ws nt thnkng at all, only hw mch it ws hurtng. Whn we go thrugh it, we knw.